You are elbow deep in chicken korma coloured poo, and Baby Grumble is splashing her legs and arms around like it is a puddle of rainwater and not the vile pool of baby crap that it is.
She then starts to cry, and I am pretty sure by now you know how horrific Baby Grumbles cry is and if you haven’t this is an example.
It is not a whine or a familiar baby cry it is a cry that shatters glass and rips your eardrums apart.
You are covered in poo, your hands are covered and sticky, and the icing on the cake is she decides to sneeze a snotty sneeze and you make a dive for cover as snot is sprayed across the room.
I am not too happy with this as I usually am retching and not enjoying this part of fatherhood and you start questioning life and where it went so wrong, then baby grumble cracks a smile.
This smile will make your stone cold heart melt, and you forget all about the poo that is on your hands and up your fingernails and that you now have to wipe snot off the walls and baby puke from your T-shirt.
