The Grumble

Baby Grinding Teeth
The Grumble
The Grumble

Grinding Teeth The Worst Noise There Is!!!

Teeth Grinding has to be the worst noise in the work it literally makes my skin crawl… Baby Grumble has been doing this since she had 2 teeth and I can remember the first time she did it I was like what the hell is that noise then it clicked

scooty
The Grumble
The Grumble

Parent Parking Bays…

I arrive at my local swimming pool today, and the car park is rammed to the rafters with cars. Which is actually great to see and then I see a space I drive down to it, and it has a scooter parked in it. Not only is this idiot parked

horse toy
The Grumble
The Grumble

Tupperware Is Killing Me

I like a good container about as much as any man but 18 months into this being a parent lark I think I am going to drown in Tupperware. Mrs Grumble is very organised, in fact, she is so organised I know what I am going to be eating three

calculator
The Grumble
The Grumble

420 Months

What the hell is wrong with people? I was at the shops the other day with baby grumble, and some other mother came up and was trying to make conversation with me. To be honest I have enough shit to deal with when Mrs Grumble talks to me so, to

cartoon
The Grumble
The Grumble

Go Go Gadget Arms!!!

I have been a dad now for nearly 12 months, and one thing I have noticed is that Christ my reflexes have dramatically improved over those 12 months. I was rubbish at all sports when I was growing up and catching anything but a stomach bug was impossible for my

Cant Crap In Peace
The Grumble
The Grumble

Poo in Peace

As I write this Baby Grumble is just turning 9 months old and all is going well but I am missing my daily quiet crap. No matter what time of day I try and have a good hearty dump baby grumble or Mrs grumble for that matter wants to interrupt

Is it safe to fly when pregnant?
The Grumble
The Grumble

Baby Grumble Goes Flying

Taking Baby Grumble on her first flight was going to be a challenge, but god we did not think it was going to be this bad… We get Baby Grumble to the airport, and thankfully we have some friends with us, and they help carry the mass of luggage, and

Wicked Witches Of West Sussex
The Grumble
The Grumble

The Wicked Witches Of West Sussex

For a bloke, this has to be one of the most traumatising times of your life, and I would almost say it is more awkward than getting a surprise boner at school… I am talking about going to a baby class, a class that is targeted to hormonal, grumpy, sleep-deprived

baby cap
The Grumble
The Grumble

How Much Dribble?

My life at the moment revolves around me wiping dribble off from my arms, Clothes, floors, walls, kitchen worktops, tables pretty much any surface that is remotely flat or absorbent. My life is one big wet moist dribble. Baby Grumble is teething, and she spends her life with long strands

noodles
The Grumble
The Grumble

One Thing I Miss Now I Am A Father

Now I am about 4 months into being a father and I think I am enjoying it. Baby Grumble is quite a happy child and we are sleeping ok. Well I don’t get up when she cries because I don’t hear her and because I work late in to the

That Fucking Smile
The Grumble
The Grumble

That Smile

You are elbow deep in chicken korma coloured poo, and Baby Grumble is splashing her legs and arms around like it is a puddle of rainwater and not the vile pool of baby crap that it is. She then starts to cry, and I am pretty sure by now you

gallery
The Grumble
The Grumble

I Have Become One…. I Will Hang My Head In Shame

All those years ago when I was just a young lad, I never thought I would become one of those people, and I use t laugh at the thought of its use to make me shudder and wince. I use to take the mick out of other fathers for doing

Shitty Nappy
The Grumble
The Grumble

Do you Want To Change A Nappy? Errrr…. No?

Mrs Grumble asks me this at least five times a day, and it is the one thing that really does wind me up instantly. DO I WANT TO GO CHANGE A POO FILLED NAPPY??? Errr would you be surprised if I said no?? I don’t know anybody that would “want”

small kid
The Grumble
The Grumble

The Game Where You Can’t Win

Having a loving wife is great no doubt about it but when you work from home and Mrs Grumble is also at home all the time there will be times when you will wind each other up. I get it I am an arse I don’t deny that, but there

Baby Farts
The Grumble
The Grumble

Baby Farts

I never have in all my life up until Baby Grumble was born heard a baby fart. It sounds very odd, but it’s not something you think happens or even considers but baby grumble farts like a drunk builder down the Coach and Horses on a Friday afternoon. But what

new born baby
The Grumble
The Grumble

How Can Something That Small Be That Loud?

When Baby Grumble cries it is something out of a horror film, I absolutely hate it and then if Baby Grumble thinks that you are ignoring her she goes one step further and engages the dreaded Gremlin mode, and that really does wind me up. The other day I was

new baby
The Grumble
The Grumble

Poo Sick Poo Sick… Oh Poo

I have been pretty lucky with the nappy changes they have not been too bad, well tonight it was all going to change. I plonked Maddy down on the changer and and undone her baby gro and rolled it up then comes off the nappy…. Now with the nappy, you

Baby Grumble
Fatherhood
The Grumble

Angel Water Ticking Time Bomb

The first appointment with the midwife after Baby Grumble was born was one to remember. We are still fumbling about trying to hold Baby Grumble without dropping or hurting her and everything is a bit awkward and clunky which is to be expected as new parents. Anyway, the midwife arrives

new born baby with dad
The Grumble
The Grumble

Late Night Rendezvous With Granny

We are almost a week into me being a Dad, and it is hard work Mrs Grumble can’t do anything because she got cut open like some alien autopsy and to top it off I have the in laws here. I am not going to sound ungrateful about the in-laws

tips on how to raise a boy
The Grumble
The Grumble

We Get Baby Grumble Home And A Gremlin Is Born

The in-laws are here, and I never thought I would say this but thank God, was I pleased to see them. I was exhausted and going home was great and getting Baby Grumble home was all I wanted to do and to be honest I was quite looking forward to

new born baby
The Grumble
The Grumble

The Start Of Nappies is Here!!!

On Wednesday 18th October I was busy working away in the office and Mrs Grumble shouted to me that her waters had broken… my response was shut up I am trying to work… but then it dawned on me what she had actually said and I looked over my shoulder

bottle
The Grumble
The Grumble

What I have learnt from being an expectant dad so far

The Arguments You are not going to win an argument so don’t even try, I would always give it my best shot, but now I just bale out when I think an argument is going to start as there is just no point whatsoever!! There is not a right answer

The Grumble Goes for a Beer
The Grumble
The Grumble

Constant Baby Talk Is Hard Work

So we are a week away now from the due date, and we are both getting tired… yep already. But what tires us out the most is the constant bloody talk of babies all the time. I am at home, and all Mrs Grumble does is talk about looming day

Broken Eggs
The Grumble
The Grumble

Two Weeks To Go and Mrs Grumble Baffles Me

Well, I have about two weeks to go before fatherhood begins, and I have just stumbled in from the pub. I know it is wholly irresponsible at this time in the pregnancy, but I think this is going to be the last weekend of mischief for me for a while.

Whoopee Cusion
The Grumble
The Grumble

My God, She Can Snore

My god, I have been with my wife for 15 years, and she usually purrs away in her sleep, but now she has a baby in her belly she snores like a freight train. I sit in bed at night trying to sleep but instead I have to listen to

shitty nappy
The Grumble
The Grumble

5 Things I Hate About Being an Expectant Dad

Are you an expectant Dad? Being told you are going to be a dad is one of the most special moments of your life and being honest I will remember the moment forever. However, things that follow on from this special moment in the months leading up to the D-Day

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