The Grumble

Teeth Grinding has to be the worst noise in the work it literally makes my skin crawl… Baby Grumble has been doing this since she had 2 teeth and I can remember the first time she did it I was like what the hell is that noise then it clicked

I arrive at my local swimming pool today, and the car park is rammed to the rafters with cars. Which is actually great to see and then I see a space I drive down to it, and it has a scooter parked in it. Not only is this idiot parked

I like a good container about as much as any man but 18 months into this being a parent lark I think I am going to drown in Tupperware. Mrs Grumble is very organised, in fact, she is so organised I know what I am going to be eating three

What the hell is wrong with people? I was at the shops the other day with baby grumble, and some other mother came up and was trying to make conversation with me. To be honest I have enough shit to deal with when Mrs Grumble talks to me so, to

I have been a dad now for nearly 12 months, and one thing I have noticed is that Christ my reflexes have dramatically improved over those 12 months. I was rubbish at all sports when I was growing up and catching anything but a stomach bug was impossible for my

As I write this Baby Grumble is just turning 9 months old and all is going well but I am missing my daily quiet crap. No matter what time of day I try and have a good hearty dump baby grumble or Mrs grumble for that matter wants to interrupt

Taking Baby Grumble on her first flight was going to be a challenge, but god we did not think it was going to be this bad… We get Baby Grumble to the airport, and thankfully we have some friends with us, and they help carry the mass of luggage, and

For a bloke, this has to be one of the most traumatising times of your life, and I would almost say it is more awkward than getting a surprise boner at school… I am talking about going to a baby class, a class that is targeted to hormonal, grumpy, sleep-deprived

My life at the moment revolves around me wiping dribble off from my arms, Clothes, floors, walls, kitchen worktops, tables pretty much any surface that is remotely flat or absorbent. My life is one big wet moist dribble. Baby Grumble is teething, and she spends her life with long strands

Now I am about 4 months into being a father and I think I am enjoying it. Baby Grumble is quite a happy child and we are sleeping ok. Well I don’t get up when she cries because I don’t hear her and because I work late in to the

You are elbow deep in chicken korma coloured poo, and Baby Grumble is splashing her legs and arms around like it is a puddle of rainwater and not the vile pool of baby crap that it is. She then starts to cry, and I am pretty sure by now you

All those years ago when I was just a young lad, I never thought I would become one of those people, and I use t laugh at the thought of its use to make me shudder and wince. I use to take the mick out of other fathers for doing

Mrs Grumble asks me this at least five times a day, and it is the one thing that really does wind me up instantly. DO I WANT TO GO CHANGE A POO FILLED NAPPY??? Errr would you be surprised if I said no?? I don’t know anybody that would “want”

Having a loving wife is great no doubt about it but when you work from home and Mrs Grumble is also at home all the time there will be times when you will wind each other up. I get it I am an arse I don’t deny that, but there

I never have in all my life up until Baby Grumble was born heard a baby fart. It sounds very odd, but it’s not something you think happens or even considers but baby grumble farts like a drunk builder down the Coach and Horses on a Friday afternoon. But what

When Baby Grumble cries it is something out of a horror film, I absolutely hate it and then if Baby Grumble thinks that you are ignoring her she goes one step further and engages the dreaded Gremlin mode, and that really does wind me up. The other day I was

I have been pretty lucky with the nappy changes they have not been too bad, well tonight it was all going to change. I plonked Maddy down on the changer and and undone her baby gro and rolled it up then comes off the nappy…. Now with the nappy, you

We are almost a week into me being a Dad, and it is hard work Mrs Grumble can’t do anything because she got cut open like some alien autopsy and to top it off I have the in laws here. I am not going to sound ungrateful about the in-laws

The in-laws are here, and I never thought I would say this but thank God, was I pleased to see them. I was exhausted and going home was great and getting Baby Grumble home was all I wanted to do and to be honest I was quite looking forward to

On Wednesday 18th October I was busy working away in the office and Mrs Grumble shouted to me that her waters had broken… my response was shut up I am trying to work… but then it dawned on me what she had actually said and I looked over my shoulder

The Arguments You are not going to win an argument so don’t even try, I would always give it my best shot, but now I just bale out when I think an argument is going to start as there is just no point whatsoever!! There is not a right answer

So we are a week away now from the due date, and we are both getting tired… yep already. But what tires us out the most is the constant bloody talk of babies all the time. I am at home, and all Mrs Grumble does is talk about looming day

Well, I have about two weeks to go before fatherhood begins, and I have just stumbled in from the pub. I know it is wholly irresponsible at this time in the pregnancy, but I think this is going to be the last weekend of mischief for me for a while.

My god, I have been with my wife for 15 years, and she usually purrs away in her sleep, but now she has a baby in her belly she snores like a freight train. I sit in bed at night trying to sleep but instead I have to listen to

Are you an expectant Dad? Being told you are going to be a dad is one of the most special moments of your life and being honest I will remember the moment forever. However, things that follow on from this special moment in the months leading up to the D-Day