I have been a dad now for nearly 12 months, and one thing I have noticed is that Christ my reflexes have dramatically improved over those 12 months.
I was shit at all sports when I was growing up and catching anything but a stomach bug was impossible for my dangly noodle arms but as soon as my sperm produced something worthy of protecting I am like Freddie fucking Flintoff or Amir Khan when it comes to speed.
Baby grumble only has to stumble on the other side of the room and my go-go gadget arms fly out to catch her and boom she is caught and fucking giggling.
We were sat eating dinner the other night, and Baby Grumble enjoys testing how far she can reach and typically my pint glass was at her fucking fingertips and it toppled off the table… however, I was quick off the fucking mark and boom I caught it so elegantly and fast that even Mrs fucking Grumble was impressed.
We all know how hard it is to impress Mrs fucking Grumble so for her to give me any credit at all on any fucking day is noteworthy.
The reflex is a phenomenon that seems to have not only affected me but other poor bastards that have become fathers in the past as well. I thought I might have been a bit fucking special, but this video shows that many other fathers have achieved a lot more than I fucking have.
Anyway, that’s enough of me talking absolute bollocks I hope you enjoy reading my updates.